The family and I are vacationing in Hawaii, and it really is as spectacular as everyone says. There are extraordinary things to see everywhere, but they’re very aware of how bumbling tourists can be. As one of our tour guides said “I used to believe that there was no such thing as a stupid question until people started asking me things like ‘Does the sea go all the way around the island?’ ‘Yes, ma’am it does.’ ‘Is that the same moon we see in California?’ ‘Yes sir, it is.'” So everywhere you go, they’re careful to warn you about what might happen. E.g. before entering a lava tube you see:

The tube floor was covered in puddles, and the girl behind me was worried about getting her shoes muddy. I wanted to tell her “You’re standing in a tunnel that was filled with molten rock just a few hundred years ago. Chill!” But that was unkind. Even slow and unfit people deserve to see amazing things like this.

By the volcano itself, they’re just as worried:

Good advice!

Out on the beach, the locals are just as worried:

We did actually see enormous plumes being thrown up by the surf. Our guide had a pro tip – if there are pine needles on the rock by the cliff it’s probably OK, but if not, it’s because the waves took them off. That’s not the only risk:

Yet not all the signs were of imminent doom:

Stay 10 feet away from sea turtles. How big is 10 feet actually? The size of a VW Beetle and its constant companion, a surfboard. That’s a pretty good scale!

The only positive sign, one in green not red, was a good general rule:

Finally, one of the stick people was not getting drowned or crushed!

I wonder if the designers of all of these signs were thinking of Hawaiian petroglyphs:

Icon figures are good for all sorts of images! Whether they’re of people dancing, or people having very bad days. In a place as beautiful as Hawaii, it’s easy to get so distracted that you lose common sense.